The LIFE Business is creating active fathers
Are you an absent father? This is a question that hit me right in the gut while reading a book from the LIFE 
business on being a great dad. As I write this article God has blessed me with a wonderful wife and three incredible daughters (and twins on the way!). I guess I should have been more specific as a young man when I prayed to be surrounded by beautiful women! 
I truly consider it a calling to be a dad, a privilege not a right.
When I first started reading about being a dad I would have given myself a decent score, I mean compared to other dads I was good, wasn’t I? Being absent is not just a physical measurement but an emotional one as well. Are you really present while you watch the game, mow the lawn, hide out in the garage or work on your honey do lists? I have realized that both quality and quantity matter when investing in my kids. When I am with my kids I need to be with them, fully engaged. However, life is busy and I have so many commitments to fulfill. I know, I did not say it would be easy but it is needed.
I personally had to start taking control of my time, planning quality time with my family. I refuse to add to the statistics, as a matter of fact I am committed to improving the statistics. First at home and then in my community. Here are the 5 ways to be present as a father and raise great kids. This is just a starting point, do your own reading and mentoring to go all in.
Five things I have learned from the LIFE Business
1) Love their mother: The most important lesson to give your sons and daughters is what it looks like to love your spouse. They will grow up and be a copy of you, is the original worth copying? Would you want your daughter to have a husband like you?
2) Love your children: Here is how your kids spell love: Time. Love is the foundation to raising great kids. Take time to learn about your kids and invest time in those categories they enjoy. It amazing me to see how our kids look to us to be affirmed. They will grow in confidence with your love and time.
3) Discipline your children: The bible says, Proverbs 22:6:train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Children thrive under guidelines and gain confidence and trust when you guide them through proper discipline. It saddens me to see the lack of basic discipline in kids today. Start with the basics please, thank you, respect for adults and manners.
4) Believe in and encourage them: Our children may act tough at times but they are very fragile and impressionable. Your belief and encouragement can start to foster greatness in them at a young age, who knows what they can accomplish in life with the right start.
5) Pursue excellence in your own life: How many times have your heard someone say, “I want my kids to have a better life so they can do something great.” Do you realize that what you are teaching them is when they grow up to focus on helping their kids do something and they grow up to help their kids and NO ONE ever does anything great! What your kids need is an example of doing something great that inspires them to do something great, which inspires their kids to do something great…..Imagine the legacy of great things that could happen!
Our kids have watched us struggle, work hard, fail, get back up and win. Life will not be fair so lets prepare our kids to be champions and succeed in spite of that. Teach them to have a great attitude, persistance, and a purpose in life.
God bless,
Enjoy this video from the LIFE Business
Dan, thanks so much for posting this. I don’t have any kids of my own yet but learning great principles and looking to you as a roll model on how a father should be, greatly inspires me! It will defiantly help me on my path down the road thanks!
What an awesome company! The fact that LIFE is getting info like this into the hands of guys like Ryan before he becomes a father. I know Ryan is going to make an awesome dad someday and its great that he has access to info like this to prepare him to do even better!!!
Absolutely! Ryan is on the right path.
Great advice Dan. I often think about if I’m being a good dad or a great 1. These 5 steps alone are a great start to being a great dad!
Thanks
Charles
Thank you for sharing Charles, you have become such a great example!
Great Post Dan, so much truth to what you covered. The reason we decided to homeschool is 100% because of what you covered on this blog. The picture of who our kids will pick as spouses is directly connected to how they see Mike and I appreciate, treat, and love each other! Now our kids see us together and know what a family can be like! Thats exciting really exciting!!
You guys are such a great example of the type of families needed in this country! Thank you for sharing!
Dan, you are right – they are a great example!
So are you guys!! your little ones are so darn cute too!
I just saw a picture of you guys at Disney on the LIFE website. It looks like you guys had so much fun!! How long did you get to stay for?
So are you and Lisa!!
You guys are right! This is really exciting
…just 5 things! Should be easy, right? Nope. It’s constant hard work that I fail at daily. Thanks for your example and may your true greatness in turn, produce true greatness.
John
I like your true greatness – we read a book at church and it said true greatness is a passionate love for God that demonstrates itself in an unquenchable love and concern for others. I see that so much through Hawkins, Leurquins and all of their teams, including you guys: amazing!
Dan, you hit a huge cord with this topic. Where have all the {active} fathers gone in America?
When a father is absent from the home (either physically or mentally); I have seen first hand from my 15+ years of service in law enforcement, the negative ripple affect. Having dealt with so many kids from curfew violations and all the way to murder; the 5 key points you just touched on from The Life Business, is currently changing that. Creating a Leadershift of Fathers, in our country- all starts right in the home!. One Dad at a time!
Thanks Dan for taking a stand!
Great insight Steve! This from a guy who I know sees the affects of fatherless homes. Share more stats and insight if you have them.
When I was a juvenile corrections officer, during the intake process (when the kids were brought in for a crime or probation violation) on average around 8 out of every 10; when asked who their father was they either did not know their name or they had never met him.
Wow! Not playing the victim card, but it brings things into to perspective somewhat. When I taught it was very similar as to lack of a father and the kids that I taught.
Isn’t that interesting Steve how it affects them in school, family, social life and all other areas; when the father absent, and is not there…
I know this is not true for every kid, because I have seen many success stories where “they” choose to respond to their circumstances, make something of their lives and not let others determine their future.
Yet sadly, its very hard when the deck of cards is stacked against the children of today’s generation. When the wild card of the father not being absent, is played…….. then stacking the deck of LIFE turns in their favor, as well.
The key word in your last statement is “choose”.
yep! its a choice!
I think we’d all agree that Life founder Bill Lewis is one of those guys who consciously made such a choice… and just look at the ripple effect of that man’s choice (and counting)!
John Graff
I agree John,
I recall one kid that was in jail for multiple drug charges and probation violations. His ‘dad’ was in prison for the same thing. I reached out to him and encouraged him to read and hang out with people who he wants to become. Short story, I ran into him 10 years later and he was college educated and was a social worker helping teenagers with substance abuse.. a ripple effect there I bet!
That is a great story Steve!
WOW!!!!
that is so sad!!
Thanks Dan for this great reminder. I completely needed to hear the fifth point… Today is one of those days were I feel caught between being “with my kids” and working the process to gain 40 hrs extra a week with my kids like Terry Brady said and you have shown … LIFE is so good !!! Can’t wait to see the difference we create in families by hitting our 1 million mile stone. Now that’s a cause to get behind!!!
Thank you for a great article on parenting Dan. Keep them coming. The world needs them!
This is a wonderful article and an insightful tool. Introspection is something that I see so often from you and Lisa and it causes me to take notice, not of how I compare to others in areas that are important to me, but am I doing it well, growing and being present. There will almost always be people better and worse at every endeavor we embark upon or role we try to fill so we can justify all we want, but what I am learning to hunger for is not worrying about how I stack up, but am I doing my personal best applying principles I know work and are in alignment with my values. Thanks again for your examples-they are changing our family, too.
Great post Dan! Many people’s scripts will be changed if they apply the information you have just taught. The cycle of absent father’s needs to be broken as the decline gets worse and worse in America for each generation. I know the men/father’s of LIFE will change this decline as I have already witnessed it happen in so many families. Thanks for leading that charge Dan!
Thanks Dan for the article and the example. Even though I am a decade older, I have learned so much from your example on how to be a great dad and husband. Matt
I’m TWO decades older and can say “ditto” to Matt’s comments! Thank you for displaying the courage necessary to lead in fathering as you do all areas of your life Dan.
Hey Dan, What do you see in the characteristics of your leaders that allows age not to block the flow of information?
Dave and Matt-how do you see that as an option from your perspective? I see in many other areas and sometimes in my own experience that age can be an obstacle to learning.
In any case, thanks to all of you for your humility and leadership.
Dan, what a fantastic blog! Can I make a request for Lisa to write about moms?:) I learn SO much from you guys! Thanks for leading by example! I will be forever greatful to you and Lisa for your courage to step out and make a decision to be better!
Thank you Bobbie, I will encourage Lisa to share some thoughts!
Great Idea!!!
Ditto that Bobbie!
That is a great idea Bobbie!
Great idea Bobbie! As a mom-to-be, I would LOVE for some advice from Lisa!
I agree!! A blog on Mom’s would be sweet also!! I agree with Bobbie, you guys are such great examples
Great post Dan, my wife and I are expecting our first child in May and love all the great information that we get from LIFE and from those with more experience in all different areas of life. I look forward to applying these great steps.
Thank you for the comment Mike. You have the tools in the LIFE business to become a great father, I look forward to the positive impact you will have.
You men out there who have begun these 5 things, who work at these 5 things and model these, you bless us all. Dan, this has to be one of your TOP posts. Thank you.
Looking forward to being able to become a more active parent through this business, I thank God for the opportunity, thank you Dan for this awesome message! LTIT!
Great post Dan !
What a great article. It seems like the right stuff isn’t so hard to do, but it just gets so easy not to do some of these things, too. Thanks for helping to show all of us what it looks like to be a good father!
Amen to that Adam and thanks to you too for being a great example of a good father!
Adam you are so good at those 5 things. You have grown so much in your 6 years as a Dad. I am so proud of you.
Thank you Teesa! You are a great mom and a rockin wife!!!!
Thanks for inspiring the men around you to follow a great path to fatherhood (maybe a different one than the one their fathers showed them). Great blog!
Great post Dan! Love the 5 ways to be present as a father and raise great kids! Thanks for all that you do!
Great post Dan!! Those are some great principles for any father to use to become more involved in their children’s lives. I know that like you, I didn’t realize how absent I’ve been until learning from the information available through LIFE. Awesome video clip as well, I remember the Men’s Leadership meeting when you gave that powerful talk. I can’t speak for everyone, but i know i speak for quite a few men when i say those meetings were some of the best and we miss having Them!!! Thanks again for the Post, GOD BLESS!!
You are right Bryan! The principles taught though the LIFE business are priceless. Thanks for blazing the trail for your son to learn by!
What matters most is guys like you are stepping up to the call! Have you ever seen Courageous at the end when the main character challenges all men to step up and be the leaders this world needs?!
Step up! Men of Courage!
So where are you, men of courage? Where are you, fathers who fear the Lord? It’s time to rise up and answer the call that God has given to you! And to say, “I will, I will, I will!”
That’s pretty good April! Do you have that memorized!?
I have had the blessing to have 2 beautiful children and we r blessed to have another on the way! I love what this had to say cuz I have watch people in My life just let their kids do whatever they want to keep them content and quiet but the sad part is if u ask some of those people anything about their kids they really can’t give a answer witch to me is sad. But I am able to have men and women that I have had the privilege to be able to hang around that set a good example not only for their kids but other men and women to do what’s right and be what their kids need them to be involved in their lives. I’m happy to say through the examples of people that I have been able to meet they have shown me what/how to spend my time and treat my family to be the example to my kids and I know in due time I will be able to spend more time then ever with my kids to show and be the example they need to be able to grow up and be the example for their kids as well. I am truely blessed to be apart of great men and women to lead and show great examples of being involved with our kids and the importance we have on their lives. I just want to thank everyone for showing me what it truely means to be a husband and a dad one of the best things in the world and I wouldn’t change it for anything!
You are a great example to all of us too Chad!
Wow!
Chad you are an inspiration and a great example your self!
Great point on some parents just ‘letting their kids do whatever’ to keep them ‘content’. If you get a chance, read that article by Oliver DeMille http://t.co/lKX9slIf from the TJ Education. He covers that on a recent study.
Glad to see you leading the charge in your family!
I will second that! Thank you Chad!
Great post Dan . I wish I would have learned this years ago. Not that I was a bad father ( at least I don’t think) but knowing these principles and being aware of your part as a father are priceless. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for posting Dan. Timeless principles that have gotten lost in the modern era of the, albeit intentional, laughable examples that most men see as examples in the media daily.
You mean that the media/TV actually brain washes us? I’m so shocked (not!).
I agree Tony. So many are following the wrong crowd today. The Life Business and Dan & Lisa Hawkins are paving the way with those timeless principles for so many to follow.
I even heard our pastor say something this morning about how men have a hard time remembering to do things that they say they will do. This impression of men is all around us!!
It’s the Homer and Al syndrome. Like Tony said, when men get portrayed as idiots the self fulfilling prophecy plays out. It’s almost like it is cool to be a deadbeat or bad dad. Where have all the Charles Ingalls gone on TV today?
You should hear the lovely conversations in a county jail about what it means to be a dad….
You are correct in the ‘cool’ image that some portray… I recall one such conversation that a ‘person’, in jail, was proud of having 5 kids from different mothers and getting extra money from the state, for every additional child that is born… yikes! My biggest fear is what the kids are learning from this..
That’s crazy!! KIds who are growing up right now don’t even have any idea what Little House on the Prairie is!!
Wow, great post Dan, THanks
Dan,
This is exactly how I felt before my first child was born. I wish I would have had this information back then…But that is the past and now what I can do is take this information and apply it to the lives of my children and their children and then help as many others along the way to a million. I want everybody to remember that greatness is achieved on step at a time. KEEP WALKING!!
Thank you Dan for this post. I truly believe that if we help men become who they are really meant to be, we could solve most of the world’s problems. When men know how to love and treat their wives, kids will feel secure. When men know how to love their kids, again, kids will feel secure. When they feel secure, they will learn that they can pursue great things. These 5 things create so many different levels of being able to solve societies issues. Thanks for the reminder.
Children need great examples to follow again. We are part of a culture that expects others to be a good example and show our children how to be responsible adults. But kids need to see it at home. Not at school, not at tv, not even at church.
Who is that one quote by? The one where he said he wanted to change the world, then decided he would maybe just change his country. Than as he got older he though he might just change his state, the just his city, than just his family. When at the end of his life he realized that he should have started with trying to just change himeself first. Anyone know who that was?
that story was told by Orrin on the LIFE cd [A Battle Worth Fighting]…can’t recall who it was about
That is a great CD! Check in the Resolved book by Orrin Woodward it is referenced in there.
That is right, its in the Resolved book! Thanks Steve!
Which chapter is it in?
I think it might be part of the intro
Resolved: 13 Resolutions for Life!!! No wonder I remember seeing that quote somewhere. I LOVE that book!
ditto that Adam!
What a great post Dan! I love the wisdom you share and how open you are with every topic you talk about. This is a great reminder of what to strive for in parenting, especially with our first child on the way. I agree with Bobbie, please see if Lisa can write one for moms. Like you said, there is no handbook for raising kids, but with mentors like you and Lisa, who are already great parents, us “newbies” will have some direction.
Thank you,
Kelly McGinley
Isn’t it great to have life coaches for an example of how to raise our children? Congratulations Kelly on your child! You will be a great parent!
ditto that!
Thanks for teaching and leading.
Thanks for the great post Dan. I can use these principles even as a mom! I am excited to see that there are “Courageous Men” who want to learn to be even better fathers. This reminds me of the saying..Any guy can become a dad, however, it takes a real man to become a father. I see alot of real men in LIFE!
Thanks again Dan,
Great post from a great example to the rest of us. Thanks
John
Great article!! I love when we get to hear what’s on your heart and what you are learning. Thanks for sharing. I especially thought the point about true quality time as opposed to just time hiding in the garage or plopped in front of the tv. Kids notice the difference when you are paying full attention and just brushing them off with yup slapping. God entrusted these kids to our care for these short years, I hope He thinks we are doing a good job.
Great blog Dan. I was just telling emily the other nite I wonder what kind of a dad i would be if i didnt have info and association i have received over the last few years? I bet it would be scary. Thanks for always leading and setting the example and passing it on to others so they can keep striving to be better.
Very proud of you Mike. We can see it in your kids eyes how much they look up to you and Emily!
As the days go by and I continue to read and learn from 1 man’s thoughts, i realize the big picture of leadership is truly a following….. congrats Dan your own learning and growing is leaving a legacy!! Just think of how many children’s lives have been impacted by your thoughts!!
Exactly, and as sad as the statistics are I am reminded of a quote I love
“don’t tell God how big the problem is, tell the problem how big our God is”
I think this community of first followers and in turn and time leaders is gonna echo that across the world and please and glorify Him for what it does to serve people and lead them to truth in family relations and beyond.
I love that quote!!! ! I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before!
I’m so glad we have an all-knowing/all-powerful God that can help us handle any problem we are going through
very true J!
Dan,
Thank you so much for standing up as a father and leader. My husband has said before, where are all the male role models to mentor me, who can I turn to? Thank you as a wife and mother that he can turn to men such as yourself who is not afraid to be the role model and keep them accountable. I have always said that we need to be on the same page as parents and I do not know that he really understood what I meant by this. We are new to LIFE, your LIFE program has helped him to understand what I was talking about and as a results has helped us raise our daughters as a team. This is exactly what we needed. Please encourage Lisa to do a blog for moms also, I would love to hear more from a moms perspective.
I work at a school and find these statistics very interesting. I hope that men will step up and be courageous men who will be accountable and help lead our children and be there for their own children so that these children do not have to become a statistic.
Thanks and Blessings to you,
Michele
Very impactful! Thanks Dan. We need to bring americas families back together!
I agree and I love the visual of one of the best ways to do it: playing BASKETBALL as a family. Looks like a PC tradition
We want to add ourselves to the list of families doing that, too.
Thanks Dan for taking some time to learn these principles and write down these 5 main things for me to focus on… I cant help but wonder how america would be different if every dad took 30 seconds to read through this. Makes you think dont it?